I feel like I’ve been tenderized with a meat hammer. I went to the gym for the first time in… weeks. Even the cute girl at the counter who I was sure didn’t even know I existed said, “Where have YOU been?” Moving has made it far less convenient for me to get there. Before, I used to get up, go, come home, have a shower, go to work. Now, it’s too far to do that, so I have to bring a change of clothes, shower stuff, hair stuff, towel, extra shoes, etc. to the gym with me. I also have to shower in a changeroom. My skin crawl thinking about all the wierd things growing on people’s feet that get transferred to the floor and then on to my feet. It’s probably just my overactive imagination, so I’m trying to suppress those thoughts.
Anyway, I decided that since I was punishing myself with the common showers, I would also punish myself with a sauna after my workout. I don’t usually enjoy saunas. It’s like putting yourself in the middle of a desert… for what? I have to admit I kind of enjoyed it. My body has been chilled to the core for the last few months, so going into the sauna really made me aware of it. I could feel myself heating up from the outside in. Every square inch of skin was sweating. When I put my fingers through my hair I couldn’t tell if my hair was burning my hands, or if my hands were burning my scalp. Kind of a neat feeling. I distracted myself from the heat by trying to completely clear my mind of all thoughts. My trick is to think the word “black” and it makes my mind go blank. Any time any thought arises, I think “black” again and it goes away. It’s like shutting the door and locking it. Mmm fun. Eventually you just become aware of what’s happening inside your body, and you can hear your heart beating. The feeling of heat almost goes away, because it’s external. Neat.
I went to the grocery store to buy a healthy breakfast. I’ve got a banana, an apple, a half a pineapple, yogurt, some almonds… and yeah.. a pizza bun thing that looked really good. Mmmm…. compromise.