I’ve added the words “keyboard confessional” to my blog title, because that’s what I thought it was for a while. This is where I come to write things that I want to share… things that have happened, things that I’ve done… But, how much of a confessional is a blog? Do I feel comfortable enough to share everything here? Could I write things that I’m not proud of in here? There is no ethical code governing blog to blogger confidentiality. A blog is not like a diary. A diary is something you have hidden under your mattress, with a tiny brass clasp around it, secured by a useless little key. A diary is something sacred, private, and forbidden to others. Your blog will share whatever you tell it with anyone who cares to read.
What got me thinking about all of this is the fact that I haven’t been writing a lot in my blog lately. I get like this when I feel like I don’t have anything to say. Whenever I’m away on vacation, I have plenty of things to say. Sometimes I feel like I have enough that I can write one or two entries per day. I’m amusing myself so much that I feel the need to share it.
But it’s not like nothing has been happening in my life right now. There have been plenty of things happening. It’s just that they seem routine. I guess I haven’t written them down because I don’t think that anyone would be interested in reading them. Realizing that, I started to wonder why I write in the first place. Is it for me, or is it for others? I mean, there is a select group of people who comment regularly here, and for that I am very grateful. I love blog comments even more than I love blogging.
If I felt that the commenters were the only ones who were reading, I could address my blog directly to them. Better yet, I could pick up a phone, or Skype, or open an MSN chat window and tell them directly. But, I know this is not the case. I know there are a lot more people who read this and never comment. More than once I’ve met up with a friend or casual acquaintence who has asked me what I’ve been up to, and I mention a trip or a show or something, and they say, “Oh yeah. I read about that in your blog.” That always throws me for a loop. What throws me on an even bigger loop is a look at the stats for this blog. I just started collecting stats on it in August, so it isn’t all that accurate, but already I can see that I’m getting visitors from Turkey, Romania, Colombia, and Morrocco, for instance. I don’t personally know anyone from any of these places.
It’s no mystery how people found this blog. I have it linked from my signature on deviantART, and I’m sure quite a few people see that. Also, I forgot to enter it into the little robot.txt file that you put on your site when you don’t want search engines to index it. So, if anyone was searching for my blog in Google, or even just me in general, they’ll find it easily enough. What boggles me is why does anyone care?
Anyway, the net result of all of this thinking is that as much as I want to think I blog for myself, I’ve realized that I am writing for the benefit of other people. My blog is not a place where you will find “my innermost thoughts, my most intimate details” (thank you Depeche Mode). But, I promise to try to make it interesting and sometimes useful.
And now, I continue with what I’ve been procrastinating from, which I don’t even feel like doing, let alone blogging about.