I was at a get together of Staircase people last night, talking to Kim and Laura. They told me they enjoyed reading my “product reviews” for things like tires and cell phones on my blog, and asked me if I got paid for doing them. I don’t get paid for doing them, and in fact never even considered these things to be product reviews. I never even considered the possibility of getting paid for writing anything. Probably if I did get paid, I’d stop enjoying writing about them. So, I remain a free agent, dispensing free opinions. If you don’t like my opinion, at least it didn’t cost you anything. This is what gives me the confidence to offer you a lifetime money-back guarantee and iron-clad warranty on anything you read here.¹

But, the discussion did give me some ideas. I going to start writing random reviews. Like many people, I have a lot of crap lying around the house that at one point I purchased, and now I use. I am part of the consumer culture. So, at random intervals, I will grab one of these items randomly, and write my random impressions of it. At the very least, it will fill up inexpensive space on my blog, and continue to generate nil revenue for me. Hooray for nil revenue!

I will start presently.²

¹_{Offer subject to change and may not be legal in your jurisdiction.}

²_{Presently means “soon,” and not “now.” It’s one of my pet peeves that uneducated weather bunnies and doofuses use phrases like, “Presently, it is snowing, and the temperature is minus five degrees…” Aside from the fact that weather forecasts are wrong nine times out of ten, the word use is wrong. It’s one of those things that people say to try to sound smart, but in reality, it causes them to sound dumb. “Irregardless” is another word like this. If you mean “now,” say, “now” or “currently.”}