Wow, now that was a waste of time.

I was like a deer in the headlights watching this thing. Even Keira Knightley’s indisputable hotness couldn’t save it from being total trash. The relationships were ridiculous, the characters were so self-consciously trying to be cool, the dialogue was irrelevant and laughable, the visual style was annoying and distracting, and even the sound editing was ludicrous. Imagine Imagine that every few words you said said got repeated. Got repeated. With varying levels of reverb reverb. And imagine it all happened it all happened in a bad fake British accent British accent. Then maybe you’d know what it’s like to be able to say “I’m Domino Harvey. I’m a bounty hunter. I’m a bounty hunter.”

Domino was a total mess. It was told non-sequentially via the old “interrogation by the police method.” The police were represented by Lucy Lu, whom Domino Harvey, in a fit of trying to be cool, accuses of being lesbian. Lu’s character’s reaction was, “WTF?” as was mine. Much of the movie was like this, filled with little bits of unnecessary and uninteresting banter, characters, and entire scenes. Sometimes you get the idea that these scenes are supposed to give you an insight into the character, or help you to understand her, but they fail almost every time. It seems more like the movie was written by a bunch of dudes brainstorming what they think might look cool in a movie. “Let’s make it all cross processed!” “Let’s make her wear really skimpy clothes!” “Let’s shoot a dude’s arm off because of a cell phone problem!” “Let’s have Domino tame a house full of angry, gun-waving gangsters by giving one of them a lapdance!” Right. All of them possibly decent ideas, but none of them gelling together for whatever reason.

Fortunately, through the magic of drugs, and a near-fatal Winnebago crash, Domino was able to have a topless makeout session in the middle of the desert with her implausible love interest, the psychotic Choco. Sadly, even that bit of gratuitous skin wasn’t enough to save this train wreck of a film.

keira topless makeout session

I’m not going to waste any more time writing about this film. It scored one point from me for 2 out of 10, but only because it was marginally better than the worst film I’ve ever experienced.