Is there anything more ridiculous than a 200 lb. woman riding a miniature motorbike powered by a chainsaw motor? At the very least, there is little that is more annoying. The man and wife at 100 Garfield love to bomb up and down the street, perched atop their miniscule motorcycles like clowns in the centre ring of some fleabag circus. The noise is like that of a mosquito convention under a bullhorn. It makes it almost impossible to have any peace and quiet around here. I guess this is what trashy people do instead of having jobs, since when they’re not riding their little bikes, they’re slouching on the porch yammering into cell phones, smoking and drinking beer. My only comfort is that they don’t wear helmets, so it’s possible that a misturn or an unexpected pothole might cause natural selection to kick into action. I’m highly tempted to throw a stick into their tiny spokes to give nature a foot up.

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