I watched Captain Corelli’s Mandolin last night. What a mess of a movie. Considering Nicolas Cage is Italian, he does a piss-poor job of portraying one. His delivery of dialogue was stunted and clumsy, and he had zero charisma. I didn’t believe it for even one second.

This picture depicts poor Penelope Cruz, caught in the wooden clutches of Nicolas Cage.


The cinematography was beautiful, but nothing could rescue this movie from poor writing, confused casting (Penelope Cruz as an Albanian? Huh?), and awkard acting. The only good thing I got from this movie was this line: “Love is what’s left over after being in love wears off.”

I must go now. Birds are dying.