Re-injuring my knee in North Carolina by doing something pretty minor has convinced me that I need to see a doctor about it. Alisha was also shocked to see that this injury has changed my personality. I am not able to spring up and run around and do the things that I used to do. If I move at a rate faster than a walk, I start to feel pain. If I start a jog, I can feel definite instability around my kneecap. It’s like it’s rolling out of place. I’m cautious now, and constantly censoring my physical movements. As time goes on, it becomes more natural for me to lower my expectations for what I’m capable of doing. For me it’s become normal to move more slowly and carefully, but I am reaching a point at which I am ready to actively resist pain and disability as a norm. I don’t like the fact that pain is changing who I am. Cautious and slow is contrary to my nature, and I am ready to fight to be myself again.
On the other side of the balance is my aversion to doctors. I’m not sure why this is the case. My doctor is a great guy, actually. I haven’t seen him in at least 10 years, but I recall that he’s a generally nice dude. My doctor avoidance could be something to do with my general dislike for authority figures, and a doctor is a pretty big authority figure. He can tell you what to do with your own body. Of course, you can choose to ignore or reject that authority, but if you do that–just like with any other authority–there may be consequences.
Anyway, I have an appointment for Monday morning. Cross your fingers for me that no cutting will be required to fix this…
Fingers crossed for you honey .. I understand perfectly what you mean by your personality changing due to not wanting to feel pain. I understand that so incredibly well that I wish I didn’t!
I hope everything goes well and that even if you do need surgery that it is minor and the recovery swift. Here’s to a good physiotherapist to avoid the need for surgery.
*hugs*
wow pretty weird to see you behave in such an irrational way. Doctors are awesome! they write you notes to skip school 😛
hey you deleted an entry, ya bastid!
And yea good luck with that. Knee injuries are no joke. Well except when you walk funny….
hey kevin, i’ve been lurking here for a while (leigh’s friend who you met at Taylor’s birthday party). I wanted to write something when you first hurt your knee to go to a doctor, because what happened to you sounded like what happened to me about 9 years (yikes) ago. Similar injury – but I rode the stretcher down the mountain (blackcomb).. and went to the clinic in Whistler. They knew what was going on right away after I described what happened (as I had a hunch when I heard your decription). I could walk okay about a week later but things “did not feel right”. Got an ortho referral from my family doctor.. and 2 screws, 6 months and a titanium staple later.. I got a new ACL. I still favour the other leg, even 9 years later… but it’s a lot better. I’ve got a bunch of courses in Physiology and Orthopaedic bio-eng from back in the day.. which allowed me to ask better questions about what was going on. All I can say – is ask questions.. and do some research on ACL injuries before you go in – they should be able to do an “anterior drawer test” (which sounds dirtier than it actually is) to see if your ACL is still there, or not.
Hope that helps.
da’lurker.
Fingers crossed and good Southern vibes coming your way…
Again I have mastered the art of arithmetic. Your journal makes me feel smart.
Anyhow, dude.. you really have to get this fixed. You can’t be expected to have wild monkey sex when you’re walking around like a cautious 80 year old, I mean come on, where the hell is your head!
*hug* Good luck, it’ll be ok and if you do require cutting, I will be sure to provide you with plenty of ice cream and magazines and whatever else you give recovering people. Some hot chick in a nurse outfit or something, what are friends for!
Shit I better bust my knee too!!
Thanks for all the good wishes, everyone. Lurker, your info is very useful. I’ll look into ACL stuff this weekend. 🙂
Don’t trust any doctors. Ever.
Haha Hugh… I forgot you read this… :$
p.s. I trust doctors who do improv.
yikes!!! so sorry to hear your knee is still not 100%! hopefully it’s a quick fix! i’ll swap you patron crutches pictures if you send me some of you on crutches! get soon, duder!
deal!
ouch! i hope the appointment goes well. when your body ain’t cooperating with you, it does suck.
look at it this way: doctors are like mechanics. you take your car to a mechanic when its broken, right?